Crooked Witness

Someone told me very recently that I have a habit of being very noncommital. I mentioned it to someone else, and they agreed.

So it’s practically fact now, right?

Well, don’t be dismissive. They’re right. I’ve noticed it now myself. That’s why I’m changing the name of this blog. That’s right, the one I really need to use more often, because not writing pretty much drives my boyfriend up the wall. (If I have too much creative energy built up inside of me, I start using a lot of flowery similes and a few words he thinks are strange.)

No Longer Noncommital, maybe? I’m still playing around with some things. A lot of things, actually.

I don’t know if always being noncommital is a good thing. Well, maybe you’re confused. What do I mean by noncommital? I’ll give you an example. A few, actually.

A: How are you today?
B: Okay.

A: Do you want to go to the mall?/Do you feel better?/Is this okay?
B: Sure.

I guess what I’m going to do from now on is try to notice when I’m being noncommital? I don’t even know if what I’m doing is bad… Well, probably. I’ll figure that out later. Maybe. (Is that noncommital? Arghh.)

Oh well.

10:00 am • 4 January 2012

silver linings are discovered

As anyone who knew me while I was in any grade between eighth and hrmm, probably tenth grades can attest, I’m not really used to looking on the bright side of life without a sarcastic comment. “Oh yeah, we’re trapped on a ship that’s sinking and we don’t have enough life boats, but at least we’re together.” Or something like that.

But I dunno, I just looked back on 2011 to see what my nostalgic 2011/2012 facebook status would be if I didn’t feel like sharing that much information with a group of people containing people I’ve hated, disliked, never met, or forgotten was kinda strange, and altogether I’ve been blessed. I’ve never said that before. That I’ve been blessed. But in this case it fits.

I’ve had great friends that have helped me through things I never thought I could make it through. Friends that listened to me whine, friends that put up with amounts of teasing that would’ve broken the temper of many pacifists. I’ve had great relationships begin, end, pause, and resume.

I could really go on for ages about how great my friends are. Because like so many other Americans in my age range, they make up so much of my life. And in this area I have been very, very lucky.

And don’t get me wrong, my mood has definitely been unusually happy in areas other than relationships. I’ve done well in classes, I’ve become happier with myself, and I wrote 50,000 words in a month. It’s just a lot harder to gush about how happy those things make me, unless I’m talking to someone face to face and they know the right way to draw me out of my shell.

So yes, a new year has started. And I guess I don’t really get why this is so great, it’s just another day, week, or month, but I’m sure, armed with a giraffe calendar and a beginning semester 1/2 full of English classes, 2012 should be pretty okay.

10:03 am • 3 January 2012

Rant

This has kind of been building up inside of me for a while, so if it sounds really bitter, that is why!

So, until very lately, I was considering being a chem major. But I decided to spend my time in college enjoying what I learn, so I picked languages instead. So, just to head off the “you’re just jealous you’re not going to be making a shit-ton of money, so you’re bashing STEM majors!” comments. (Which there will probably be none of, because there are no comments. Very tricky.)

I am sick of biology majors (which are the only kind of majors I’ve seen doing this) being elitist pricks.

Okay, strong statement, but I am so sick of it. I have seen so many facebook statuses and heard so many biology majors in person talk about how pointless, inconsequential, easy, useless other majors are. “Why do you even care about your GPA when you’re majoring in something that isn’t even difficult?” a Bio major asked the other day.

Maybe it’s just because so many of my Facebook friends are majoring in biology. Maybe it’s because my dorm has like 80% bio majors. Maybe I’m just noticing them whining more than other majors.

But guess what?

Memorization isn’t that hard. And any major is hard, you dipshit, they all require some kind of work, because guess what? Everyone has to do work. You might think it’s easy, writing four papers a week to keep up with a bunch of English classes, but I don’t see you doing it. And what about teachers? I’m sure education majors have to draw up lesson plans, which would be absolute torture for me. Music majors have to practice their instrument and probably even identify a bunch of musical compositions and styles that would all sound alike to me.

Every major is work. That’s why it’s college. And maybe you’d fly through a Chinese or Japanese or FrenchandSpanishdoublemajorandGermanminor like you were sitting home on your parents’ couch watching game shows.

But until you do, shut the fuck up and whine to your fellow bio majors in private.

Because I’m not sure how many more inane comments I can take before I expound upon this rant right on your facebook status, and that would just make both of us look like idiots. And trust me. There is much more I want to say.

3:02 pm • 18 December 2011